I just spent five days away from home, visiting my home town of Salisbury CT. In some ways it was fine, I saw good friends and family, and helped my dad with some stuff. Sometimes, though, it can be excruciating, especially the part where I was stuck there due to bad weather. I can’t tell you how many times this has happened to me, having to wait until the weather clears to go home.
This time the weather was ice. I have four wheel drive and snow tires, but I am a self-admitted ice wimp. I once did a 360 on black ice and it scared the bejeebers out of me so I try very hard not to repeat the process. The weather in CT was actually not bad, just a sprinkling of snow but in between CT and home it was a mixture of snow and ice and I thought I would do my civic duty by staying off the roads so the snowplows could do there job.
It’s always horrible having to make the decision, do I stay another day be bored and look like a wimpy person or do I brave the roads and cause my anxieties to blossom out of control down the I-95 corridor? It’s such a catch 22…boredom vs anxiety. Story of my life. So I stayed. I’m glad I did.
Then the next morning I woke up to…SNOW all up and down the I-95 corridor. Wheeee! I get to make the decision again! This time, I chose to stay but my grumpy level rose a significant amount. Then, around noon, I looked at the weather map and realized, the worst was over and the traffic reports around NYC and Philly were sounding pretty good. I packed up, quickly said goodbye to everyone and ran for the hills…or at least for my car.
Then, as I was driving, the snow, which had stayed away from that particular corner of CT, decided to start falling and I was driving in a real snowstorm…cue the anxieties…fortunately, 20 minutes later the roads were just wet, not snowy and the rest of the trip was clear sailing. The road crews had done their job and people had stayed home due to the weather so I had clear roads and no traffic. The sun even came out somewhere in NJ. I made it home in time to have homemade beef stew for dinner with my sweetheart.
This trip really brought home to me (excuse the pun) that I REALLY love my home, my husband, our animals, my artwork and all my friends. I have a great life. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. And it is soooo frustrating when I am forced to stay away. Actually, it is closer to torture. Don’t get me wrong, I love to go away, to travel, to meet new people, see new things. It’s just that I plan for that and then I love to come home.
I don’t know when CT stopped being “HOME”. I left it when I was 18 to go to college and never moved back. For many years, though, I thought of it as home, simply because, being a small town, I always knew everyone and they knew me. Now, most of those people have died and while I have a small group of friends and acquaintances, I no longer feel like a child of the town the way I used to. I feel sad about this. It’s a special feeling to know that you belong to a community even if you don’t live there. But in a way, I am relieved. Because now my home is here in MD, where it should be.